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When I arrived here, I was trapped in a lonely and sexless marriage to a...for your support, understanding, and occasional tough love! ILIASM played a huge role in my life for a number of years. Even though my marriage was over long before that, including being separated and all but legally divorced from my ex in early 2014.This option has since morphed into an exit plan from my marriage, but either way, my goal is the same. To that end, not having been seen naked by another man for over twenty years (for the most part), I... We've had a good time here -- maybe even the time of our life, or best to date. utterly deprive the other partner of their basic needs for love & affection for years on end, but when the now emotionally emaciated partner accepts those gifts from another THEY are suddenly the bad guy. I'm sick of being treated like some kind of cheating...
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Back in February 2009 when I joined this group, the popular mantra we generally followed was that the ILIASM shithole was "not YOUR fault". I read the stories here and see so many similar people in differing stages of understanding of sexless marriages. The older, more jaded, group having affairs, leaving the marriage or both simultaneously. For the first ten years, it was pretty standard fare. I wanted desperately, I tried everything and anything. We refuse to accept that life can be different We refuse to accept that we have the personal power to make the changes we... As I stood at the side of our bed and saw the barricade of pillows he placed between us, I debated leaving my night gown on. I haven't been on here much this last year, or so, but at one time, I was on here daily. It helped with the loneliest part of my life, during my sexless marriage.
This point used to get hammered at newbies time after time. I really loved her, and wanted things to work at any cost. In one of the stories a young woman releases a genie while polishing an old lamp. I honestly didn't know I was in one, until I came here.
This story was written in response to a statement in a recent post.
That statement is: "The overwhelming advice is to cheat or leave".
for 1-1/2 years now and I am really sad to see it shutting down. I see and have experienced magical thinking within dysfunctional... Because of the openness, the wiliness of all to speak of their deepest thoughts, their most deepest feelings. I learned that marriage was supposed to be a celebration. As I sit on my patio, sipping coffee and reading a book, I marvel at the calm of my being. I am going to add my thoughts to those who are living in a sexless marriage, as I am, but who also speak of love and friendship with their partners -- who say they have a wonderful, warm... This has caused devastating effects on our marriage and her life. She grew up in a home where if you didn't take care of yourself, you weren't taken care of. So ladies, please allow me to tell you about men like me.